Late Nights

as of recent date the workload has double and so have the quizes and presentations....

and the midterms are coming... sighs ... thank goodness i only have one before reading week and the rest will be after ... so i only need to worry about econs...

oh well... so guess where i'm heading for reading week... i'll give you a clue :) starts with an 'm' and ends with an 'a' ...

keep guessing :) i'll see you around... need to rush for psychology class....

psychology is driving me psycho... so much to read so little time....

so little time so much to do
i rather spend my days with you
frolicking underneath the sun
or dancing till the sun comes up

life's confusing its like a bouncing ball... it can hit the floor or the wall at every possible angle imaginable but the good thing about it is that it always bounces back... so just like life... we have to take what comes our way and bounce back up again :)

If This Isn't Love - Jennifer Hudson

hello

to be honest i'm very angry right now.. i have a lot of reasons but i'm not going to disclose the details here... So don't think of me of some angry hater kind of person ok? I'm now caught in the middle if i should go down to the south to sit for something that might make me look like a fool... eventhough i know that this oppurtunity which has been given to me is like a once in a lifetime oppurtunity but somehow or rather my heart is not in it...

i know that i should do this cause when...

'you've got one shot do not miss your chance to blow cause oppurtunity comes once in a lifetime'

but somehow or rather my heart is just not that.. i have to decide by this friday cause i have to inform the tribal council.. hopefully i'll decide soon cause its just around the corner...

Btw the song stated above reminds me of someone ... i bet you know who you are :)...

I’m calling his phone up
Just to tell him how muchI really love him ‘cause
His everything I want
He listens to me, he cares for me
So I truly believe

God sent me an angel
Up from above
That’s gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only because
It’s the only way I can describe, so
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn’t loveL-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love

I’m selfish ‘cause I don’t Wanna share him with nobody
Not even knows
People that came before me
But see, I never believed

God would send me an angel
Up from above
That’s gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only becauseI
t’s the only way I can describe, so

If this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
If this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E,
oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh

The Last Few Days...

hello

The last few days have got their share of ups and downs....

the downs

My internet dieded recently

I couldn't skype

Now also i still cannot skype cause someone used up their internet bandwidth

Work has been tiring due to the massive accumulation of my sleep debt... I now know why working people drink lots of coffee... and i now cannot survive without at least one cup of coffee everyday...

I've been running out of coins for coffee

and the list stops there hopefully... its still early ... thats the sad part... Now here are the UPS...

I finally got my pay which means i need my parents to top up a little bit more so that i can get a new mobile... can someone recommend? i want something sexy please to match with sexy me lol... x)

I got the david archuleta tickets... THANK YOU SHAUN

I'm finally going to eat the lychee tiramisu cake that i've been dying to try from eastin hotel...

I watched shopholic with my chi mui's and now i really really want a green scarf i just need to find where to get one... unless someone got it for me *hint hint* i love the show :) but i loved the company more :) *hugs

I finally got some good news in my life recently.. thank goodness...

[ 'I know that I've got issues but your pretty messed up too' ]
-kelly clarkson-

-natalie-

If You Step On My Toes...

hello

If you step on my toes you better watch out I'll bite your head off...

Its been a month and the office is a mean concrete jungle. There is basically three types of people in the office...

a. The people who are extremely friendly but behind your back they are talking badly about you, creating all sort of rumours and trying to gang up against you. And in addition to that they will eventually step on your head...

then there's

b. The people who are just very cold and unsocial towards newcomers (meaning trainees like me) . They act like your inferior to them and making friends with you would be a waste of their time..

lastly,

c. there's the friendly people but don't talk to you at all... When you pass them in the hallway their smile ask how are you and then thats it...

Office politics itself is very dirty... Its somehow similar to what you see on the idiot box... And somehow i fell that this job of mind is going to teach me now how to handle all of this is the future :)... oh well... let's hope for the best...

at the end of the day in the office you cannot be too friendly if not people will step on your toes painfully....

-natalie-

Dear Life...

Dear Life,

You drive me crazy

You make my head hurt

You make me wish that time would pass by faster so that i can go home from work

You make me feel stupid cause

I have to walk up and down from the office to get all the information I need

To write a good report and then once I've done that you make me pass it to my boss

Which my boss tells me that I've missed out a tiny detail while I was in the office listening to him

And then you make me realize once I went down to get the missing information that

He never told me to do that just now

So now dear life I am stuck and haunted by the fact that I have to figure out how to get all the information right...

What have I ever done to you?

Dillemma

hello you oh so evil world....

lately i've been question by various elements in my life as to which roads should i walk on from here... with so many voices ringing in my ear it has been really really hard to decide.. cause i'm so scared that i might just walk down the wrong path and its scary cause the last thing i want to do is screw my life even furthur... the extend that it won't be unscrewable...

i think this worry thing runs in the family or something ....

the first thing that has been giving me this dilemma is because in the beginning i've been so set about going to sunway after sam is over and do the acca program but lately due to some inteference i have been asked to reconsider some other program in taylor's so that i can go to UK and exprience campus life... the thing is i don't mind but to me its like i would still have to do my acca again even after the degree... but i understand what the interference is trying to say cause i too fear that another case similar to the manipal case will happen if i take the sunway acca route... but its just so... cause my mind was set i thought i had everything worked out at this point and suddenly the interference brings this up so yeah ... it sucks..

the second thing is that i really really have no idea what to get my special friend for his/her birthday ... its so hard to decide cause he/her has everything already so its like ..... anyways i really want to make something really special for that someone but i just have no clue so i'm really open to suggestions from the public ... help me please !

the third one is more personal for me... it has something to do with me ... i don't know if i should tell that person how i feel cause it might give them the impression that i'm too sensitive and that somethings wrong with me... and i wouldn't want that the last thing i want would have to be to lose them ... i mean i can keep my mouth shut about this but the thing is that it has been locked inside my heart for far too long.. i'm still debating with myself about the issue and trying to decide but i just seem to be running around in circles only... hopefully i'll get pointed in the right direction soon... pray for me

anyway i think thats enough ranting :) thanks for listening i got to go enchanted is on tv ... hehe the show is so cute

bye world

-natalie-

Gearing Up For Battle

hello

the tittle sounds so yeng x) ok i'm just syoking sendiri...

i feel mentally tired right now... this is all you fault *points at you*

i bet you did this... ok sorry for the wackyness got high stress levels right now...

finals begin on monday

very nervous right now....

anyways time to light the torch and let the games begin :)

doesn't that phrase remind you of the olympics?

see you all after the finals ... will probably be blogging about prom night in the next post... x) hehe ...

bye all

-natalie-

Keeps Getting Better

hello

for some reason i'm feeling this song...

it makes me want to go and have fun... :)

Kiss kiss gonna tell you right now

I'll make it sweet on the lips as it can knock you out

Shut up I don't care what you say

Cuz when we both in the ring you're gonna like it my way

Yeah baby there's a villain in me so sexy sour and sweet

And you'll be loving it

Some days I'm a super bitch

Up to my old tricks

But it won't last forever

Next day I'm your super girl

Out to save the world

And it keeps gettin' better

Hold on Keeps gettin' better

Hold on Keeps gettin' better

In the blink of an eye

In the speed of the light

I'll hold the universe up

And make your planets collide

When I strap on my boots

And I slip on my suit

You see the vixen in me

Becomes an angel for you

awyz back to the study table bye all....

ps: should i remove my cbox? let me know ... hehe bb

Stress

Now I've come to cry

Shed your skin to rest my naked eye

And criticize

All that I implore

Seems to be one foot outside that door

Coming between me and waking

Underneath the corset of your mystery

Piece by piece undress you from your history

I'm sleeping with seclusion in sweet disarray

You can go heavy on me

And I will not weigh you down, down, down

You can be steady and clean

I can take it

Heavy on me

And I will not weigh you down

Born unto this pride

Silence is something you can't hide

You can't deny us

Nothing has been said

Yet so many words have filled my head

Now they completely surround me

Tie the lines of honest conductivity

Caught between the center of our gravity

I don't have that much time to burn anymore

hey all

like the lyrics?... i think i have rekindled my love for holly brook all over again... i love her songs...awyz i finally used the internet after so many days and was suprised at the many updates i have missed from everyones blog... lolz.. oh well i'm feeling really tired i need to do soemthing relaxing maybe a deep tissue massage or sometthing ... nah maybe tomorrow...

anyways stress levels are running high.. ethan tempted me to it with the rest of the class today cause it was half price for ladies only x) and it was a buffet at jagoya (don't know the spelling sorry)... sadness ler... oh well anyways

stress makes people say and do crazy things x) here are a few examples

*this conversation took place today it was caused by severe stress and deprivation of sleep and no i didn't say any of these*

scenario a

a: oh cool what's a starwood privellage card
b: yeah its a card that lets you eat anywhere in starhill for 50% off
a: awesome ...
suddenly
a: is hollywood a country ?

*b,c,d and e stare in amazement lolz.... *

c: eh then where's bollywood a?
a: ummm i think its its a place in india lolz....

scenario b

a: let's play a word game. i will say a word and the you'll have to say a word which starts with the same last alphabet of the word i said earlier
b,c,d: ok
a: pot
b: teapot
c: POOP!

All stared at amazement....

scenario c
a: eh b, what do you think chinatown is since u thought hollywood was a country ?
b: ummm its a kopitiam right?

LOLZ.....

see ladies and gentlemen what stress does to your mind... it twist and turns every bit of knowledge we have in our grey matter until we cannot comprehand simple questions....

anyways i came across a lot of old things yesterday while cleaning up my cabinet... some brought back good memories some just made me mad at some people ( its not who you think it is... trust me)... it made me felt disgusted about what i have done in my past but its ok people learn from their mistakes and i'm human so i will someday ... until then bye bye

-natalie-

Love Remains The Same

hello

right now i feel so freaking tired but i'am unable to shut a eye in fears that my nightmare will become a reality once i open my eyes....

i know i need to study but i can't bring myself to do so... its like i'm too tired to do anything right now... somethings wrong i know it

i can feel it creeping up from behind me slowly wrapping its cold bone like fingers around me waiting to consume me whole...

pushing me into a black hole that i cannot get out off...

sighs this is life
a last it'll all be over soon...

but will i ever escape this cold dark void?

Half the time the world is ending

Truth is I am done pretending I never thought that

I Had anymore to give

You're pushing me so far

Here I am without you

Drink to all that we have lost

Mistakes we have made

Everything will change

But love remains the same

So much more to say

So much to be done

Don't you trick me out

We shall overcome

It's all left still to play

Ps : good luck to all my a-level friends with their exams :) don't worry su yee you can do it you can do further maths :)... and all my form 3 friends with their PMR ;)

pss: i'm trying to smile but it feels wrong... everything seems so blur now...

Next Plane Home

hello



the stress is building up the determination to do better is starting after having being defeated by so many people crushed stab and hit by the head that is... i think that should tell you how bad my results are huh ?...





i shall work hard for the finals... its officially less than a month a way... the nervousness wei... i really need to do well.. no doubt that i won't be going to uni and will be here doing acca but i still want to do well... so that at least i can look back on this and go man i rock ! x) i have always believe that no matter what you do and if will not gain much from a certain experiences you must always give it you 110%... i think it was something that my mum thought me from little ...





awyz... i don't know when my next update will be since i have to really bernerding nerding from now on until nov 18... and even if i update it'll probably short lil updates about how i want some to kill me or something due to the high stress levels i'm experiencing... i hope i don't kill anyone in the process...





Awyz there's a song stuck in my head right now...

You make me wanna lala in the kitchen on the floor

I'll be your French maid where I meet you at the door

I'm like an alley cat

Drink the milk up I want more

You make me wanna

You make me wanna scream

it makes me want to jump up and down in the air... i don't know why maybe its just the beat... oh here's another song that i think is nice... oh and the video is super cute x)

And I'm so lonely you're not here with me

That's why I'm gonna be on the next plane home

And you're you're the only face I wanna see

That's why I'm gonna be on the next plane home

Stand around try to make every moment

And be somebody yeah anybody

It seems the whole world is taking me over

I need somebody to help me get back to you

And I've always been a million miles away

But things are gonna change

I just wanna come home

Awyz i can feel all the wth voices coming right now... lookie its my baby nephew(from 1 week 1 day old post) again this time he has a name his name is Lai Yong Jien

his so lucky that he gets to just eat and sleep... wait for me ya yong jien aunty natalie will go and visit you in alor setar sometime next month when you one month old ok? wait ar.... in the mean time yong jien you must dream of your sexy aunty ok? good yong jien.... Don't know why i typed this...

ok i have to go now bye readers

ps: good luck to all sam people for the finals

pss: natalie wants to eat sushi...