A Nightmare

* Its written by a dream that i had the day before *



i was walking down a row of shops just browsing around to see if there was anything to buy. Suddenly i saw him in a shop. My heart skipped a bit and my mouth made a smile. I wanted to cross the street then i saw her grabbed his hand.... io stood there and dropped my purchases... it was impossible i thought he said he was busy... how could he i thought to myself after the many years that we've been together but to make matters worse she was my best friend. how could she ? how on earth she betray me. Then suddenly my eyes met his from across the street. he stood still. frozen knowing that he has been caught off guard and unaware of my presence.



He thugged my best friends hand and her eyes met mine too. her eyes weren';t afraid not like his, her eyes were filled with bravery. she let go of his hand and crossed the street walking towards me. 'yes, i'm with him so what its not like he loves you anymore. so why not you back off ?' she said . With all my might i slapped her on the face and stomped off with my so called boyfriend chasing after me begging for a second chance. ' why should i ?' i said with all my anger he grabbed my hands and said with the most loving voice ever 'because ... we've been together for so long that i don't want it to end just like this. please give me a second chance i'll make it up to you. please...'. After being together for 3 years i said 'ok but only one date... thats the only chance you'll ever get from me anymore....' and then i left him standing there by himself.



a few days later i received a text saying ' can we have dinner tomorrow at our usual spot . the place we first met?'. i didn't bother to reply till the day of itself. To me this was very mild compared to what he did with my now ex bestfriend... so i dressed up nicely in my black sexy mini dress and headed over to the restaurant. while walking up the stairs he was there and was going 'ahem' trying to get my attention but i didn't care i kept on walking. he finally caught up with me. he came empty handed no roses no chocolate either. i didin't mind i didn't care. he ushered me towads this table situated at the corner of the restaurant. apparently he had booked the entire restaurant so that we could be together alone.



at the table he was making small talk. all i did was nod. i did not smile. to me he did not deserve to see me smile. so i just walked around the restaurant. i turned around the corner to look at the sea and i saw a table with a rose on it. due to my curiousity i walked there. i was shocked when i saw it.... there was a message placed underneath the rose. It said to my darling *insert best friends name here* i love you yours sincerely, *insert boyfriend's name here* .I put the messaged down feeling disgusted by it. I turned around to meet my boyfriends eyes. " how could you?' i said. 'please i can explain. don't leave. " he said as he held my hands tight. i broke free from his grip and said with rage in my voice ' seeing as too how you came empty handed while she has a rose and a table with a nice view while my table is next to some wall its obvious that you love her more then . its over goodbye *insert boyfriends name here*...'. with that said i walked off from his life. hoping to never enter his life again... and then i woke up...



it was strange as i woke up with nothing but fire flowing through my veins.... i was really angry in that dream. hopefully it'll never come true hehe x) i just got home from shopping with my parents... berbanyak banyak tired... will update soon.... bye all

Crush

*extremely long post *

hey all

My bio teacher showed us a little documentary today regarding our ecosystem it was called Galapagos... its really intresting the mere site of the komodo dragon bought me back to my little childhood when my parents finally got astro and i was allowed to indulge myself in National Geography. yes as a kid i didn't watch much cartoons more animal planet more discovery chanel hehe i guess it was an interest for me.... yes i'am such a nerd hehe x) my bad.... awyz i recalled watching a documentary about the galapagos islands from national geographic. It was amazing . how does animals survive on such harsh lands and with a nasty and feisty komodo dragon lurking just around the corner of your eye. scary....

The ferocious komodo dragon

The giant tortoise... it can live up to 150 years old and

survive up to 3 months wihtout water.... berbanyak banyak old.under the sea

awyz to other matters it was my darling nephew, dylan's full moon last saturday x) his so cute he can snort hehe.... i meet my other nephews and nieces there too here are the cute lil ppl in my life....

princess ariel

Prince Jeriel and his lil sister ariel(same as above)

Princess Katelyn whose currently in uk

Princess Ashley being facinated at some toy that plays brahm's lullaby...

Prince Jared, pincess ashley's brother

the latest addition Prince Dylan x) he snorts ...

i've got a few more nieces and nephews but in alor setar now... so yeah this are the few that are in KL .... hehehe i think thats all for now... my brain feels tired must be the chem test that i took today awyz toodles....

Ps: in case you were wondering if i ever did my nails... hehe x)

Do you ever think when you're all

All that we can be, where this thing can go

Am I crazy or falling in love?

Is it real or just another crush?

you catch a breath when I look at you

Are you holding back like the way I do?

'Cause I try and try to walk away

But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

-natalie-

Some Of The Things That Make Me Go Awwww and Ooooo

*picture post* a picture tells a thousand words... need i say more?

*ps: this is my one week notice to all... i'm going to make my blog invitation only *

Music Tag from lw and yl

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to every question.
4. With the answers, comment on how it relates to the question
.------------------------------------------------------------------

1. How am I feeling today?
hold on - jonas brothers.... ummmm ohk.....i'm not on the verge of committing suicide or anything but ok?

2. How would you describe yourself?
here without you - 3 doors down..... this is sad i think i have to many emo songs....

3. Will you get far in life?
forever - chris brown.... this is bad none of these songs make any sense....

4. What is your life's purpose?
long time coming - oliver james... i do not which to spend my whole life finding love... love should come and find me instead...

5. What is your motto?
please be something good... *clicks* what makes you different - BSB... ummm be unique?

6. What do you like in a guy/girl?
bounce - timbaland ost step up 2.... ok at least this is not so bad.....i think ...

7. What do you think of the person you like?
baby love- Nicole Scherzinger... lolz... x)

8. What do you think of your best friend?
Always be my Baby - david cook... ummmm lw, yl, and sy and hr and mich you'll always be my baby x).. our love will never die.... you'll always be a part of me? ummm that part maybe i mean they'va alll played vital roles in my life so yeah... just maybe..

9. What do you friends think of you?
you and me - lifehouse.... this is emo... i need happy songs...

10. What is your personality like?
my all - mariah carey... i don't know what to say...

11. What do you think of your friends?
So close - John Mclaughlin..... ummmmm.... ummm...

12. What do you think of your parents?
Afterlife - avenged sevenfold... i've got to move on dear....

13. What do you think about very often?
Thats my goal - shane ward.... I'm not here to say i'm sorry, i'm not here to lie to you, i'm here to say i'm ready and i've finally thought it through....

14. What is the story of your life?
I will be - Avril lavigne... this sad... the story of my life should be about glamourous me not me waiting to be with someone or something....

15. What do you want to be in the future?
Glamourous - fergie... ok this is not so bad.. at least i'll be drinking champagne and leading the fast life ...

16. What will they play at your funeral?
what about now - chris daughtry ... *speechless*

17. What is your hobby/interest?
everlasting love - jamie cullum.... ummm i do not spend my free time looking for that...

18. What is your biggest fear?
pop princess - the click five... ummm ok i'm afraid of princesses right.... then how come i love disney princesses when i was younger...

19. What is your biggest secret?
take a bow - rihanna... no i can't think of anyone who has done something like that to me...

20. What's in store for this weekend?
someday we'll know - mandy moore... ummm nope i shall not spend my weekend in what if land...

21. What would best describe your life?
whatever it takes - lifehouse....

22. Will I get married?
i kissed a girl - kate perry... this says i'm going to marry a female girl but i always thought i would get married to a guy... lolz...

23. What does your boyfriend/girlfriend think of you?
The prayer - celine dion.... *puzzled*

24. What would you strip to?
when i'm with you - faber drive....ummm ok....

25. How is my life going?
bye bye - mariah carey... nope i have not lost anyone recently...

26. How is my love life going?
invinsible life - ashley parker angel..... =.='

27. How can I make myself happy?
predictable - good charlotte.... nothing to say

28. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
never say goodbye - hayley westerna

29. What song will be played at your wedding?
every breath you take - phil stacey.... ummmmm i didn't stalk anyone....

30. What song would you play the first time having sex?
dare you to move - switchfoot..... ummm ohk....

none of this makes sense.... nyeh oh well.... ok let's see i tag

-huey ren
-nicholas cheong
-nicole ang
-lynndy
-kar yan
- shaun siegfried
-adeline
- joanne lee
-henri
-nicholas fong

have fun guys... ciao

Memo To Self

Dear SAM,

eventhough you put me through the hardest of times, bring me down to my knees and make me beg for mercy. I won't give up....

yours sincerely,
natalie

Something That Changed My Mind

hey all

i remembered when i was young i was often teased about the way i look... so i decided from a very early aged to get plastic surgery done. I wanted to do a nose job and get double eyelids. I still wanted to do it until a few minutes ago when i stumbled upon this article.... enjoy...


Why Men Crave Real (Not Perfect) Bodies?

Actor Gabriel Olds has dated his fair share of surgically enhanced women. Now he tells us why most men prefer the real deal—“flaws” and all.
I met Tessa* at a premiere party in Hollywood several summers ago. It was held in a decked-out airline hangar, and everything, from the stunning cocktail waitresses to the champagne fountain, was over-the-top. But even in the midst of all that glitz, Tessa was the main attraction. She was a slender, vibrant redhead in a bright orange dress—you couldn’t miss her. After a few minutes of sneaking nervous glances in her direction, I got up the guts to approach. "You’re wearing my favorite color," I said. "I like orange because it rhymes with—"

"Nothing," she finished. The spark was undeniable. Tessa was smart—an investment banker—and had a great laugh. Somehow, she was still single. When she casually slipped me her card at the end of the night, I was ecstatic.
On our date the following week, things got even better. Tessa wore a clingy black dress, and over dinner she lit up with stories of four-million-a-minute losses in the futures market. Sexy. When she asked me back to her place after the check came, I couldn’t say yes fast enough. Soon, as we stood in her hallway, groping each other like teenagers, my hand fumbled to her chest, anticipating the plush, nurturing flesh of her…
Wait a minute. Was her breast rippled? As I felt the telltale implant bag under her skin, I thought, Damn it—fake boobs. My mind overflowed with images of hospitals and scalpels. I froze up, and Tessa noticed.
"You’re acting weird," she said.
"I am not. I mean, maybe I am. It’s just, um, are these, uh," I stammered, still sheepishly groping at her chest.
"Are you frisking me?" she asked.
I stammered on.
"Get out," she said.
Before I knew what had hit me, I was back in my car, driving away from the first woman who’d sparked my interest in months. What just happened? Was I really going to let plastic surgery get in the way of my search for love—again?
That’s right. Tessa wasn’t the first surgically enhanced woman I’d dated, and she wouldn’t be the last. Let me explain: I’m an actor in my thirties, and I live in Los Angeles, a town that seems overrun with silicone. Before I met Tessa I’d already dated women with nose jobs, huge breast enhancements and lips plumped to bee-stung proportions. With each of these women, I’d tell myself that what they did with their bodies was their choice, that it wasn’t my place to judge. But then questions would fill my head: Is this woman really who she seems to be? Am I dating the person or the persona? Inevitably my attraction to them floundered, and the relationship did too. I had, it seemed, a real issue with all the nipping and tucking going on in the dating world. And this wasn’t just an L.A. phenomenon either—I have college friends who’ve noticed the same trend in America’s heartland. In 2006, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, there were nearly 11 million cosmetic procedures in the U.S.—that’s nearly a 50 percent increase from 2000.

Certainly, men are partially responsible for this trend. We can be superficial creatures: abandoning faithful life partners for younger, prettier versions, TiVo-ing Skinemax movies and wondering why we, mere mortals, aren’t married to the likes of Jenna Jameson. But as much as we lust after images of hyper-real beauty in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue or even in the apartments or cubicles next door, we don’t quite know how to react when those unreal bodies actually belong to the woman in our lives.
Was surgery something I could handle? Or was it time to start looking for a "natural" woman, "flaws" and all? It would take me three more relationships and a handful of blunders to figure that out—starting with Mia…


No secrets, except surgical ones
I met Mia soon after the Tessa "frisking" incident, and I was relieved that all of her looked and felt natural. She was pretty and feisty, cracking me up with stories about her two schnauzers with rhyming names. Within weeks of meeting, we were an item, taking weekend trips and storing toothbrushes at each other’s apartments. So imagine my surprise when, during a rainy day many months later, Mia decided to show me an old photo album—and I didn’t recognize anyone in the pictures. "Where are you?" I asked.
Silence.
Finally, she laughed nervously and said, "I’m right there, silly." I looked closer.
Same hair, same smile, but when I finally focused between her eyes, I blurted, "You had a nose job?!"
I was baffled, and more than a little hurt. We’d been dating for almost a year. She’d trusted me enough to tell me about losing her virginity and her secret dreams of moving to Spain, so why hadn’t she trusted me enough to tell me about her surgery? She made light of it, and insisted there was nothing to talk about, but I couldn’t let it go. It seemed dishonest. A lie by omission, surely—but also a lost opportunity for intimacy. Why had she gotten the nose job? How did it feel before and after? These were things I wanted to know. And once I realized she didn’t feel the need to share them with me, the trust between us was gone. Our relationship ended pretty quickly after that.

Trying to see past the nips and tucks

Not long after things went south with Mia, I met an ad executive who was elegant and quirky (one of my favorite combinations) and whose proportions seemed perfectly normal. I asked her to dinner, and we met a few weeks later at a Japanese restaurant. But something was different about her that night. As she nibbled at a bowl of edamame, I figured it out: Her lower lip seemed much fuller than it was the first time we’d met—it looked like the mouths of actresses I’d worked with who’d gotten collagen and talked about it openly. And since those actresses were so comfortable discussing it, I felt comfortable asking the ad exec, "When’d you get your work done?"

"Work done?" she shot back. "Who do you think I am, a stripper?" I was beginning to get the picture: Women might chat about their surgery—or adventures at the dermatologist’s office—with near strangers, but the new guy they’re dating is probably the last person they feel like sharing with. If I wanted to know whether my date still had all her God-given parts, I needed to figure it out from visual cues alone. When it came to implants, if the boobs were pert with no bra: fake. If they were too rounded on top: fake. Needless to say, my obsession with all of this became a topic of great amusement for my coupled friends. "What was it this time, Gabe?" they’d ask when we gathered for dinner.

Then I met Callie, who didn’t make me guess. She singled me out at a friend’s birthday party, regaling me with childhood stories, most of which involved some sort of brawl. "By the way," Callie suddenly said, "these fake boobs are so not me." This was a change: I’d hardly had time to notice her breasts—all my attempts to check her out discreetly had been foiled by her gaze, and she was already revealing that they weren’t real. Her forthrightness was a breath of fresh air, and I felt comfortable asking why she’d gotten fake boobs in the first place— if they weren’t "her"? It turned out a former boyfriend had woken her up one morning with a very romantic question: "Hey, you ever think about getting better boobs?" Callie loved this guy, and after a series of failed relationships, she wanted to please him, so she went out and bought big, D-cup implants a few months later. Unsurprisingly, they broke up soon after that, and Callie was left with a very strange relationship souvenir. Some girls have tattoos of old lovers’ names; Callie had an $8,000 pair of breasts.
I’d started to really like Callie. And as we talked about the problems her implants caused for her—the way people took her less seriously at work, the unsettling way she no longer recognized herself in the mirror—I came to a realization about why I was so wary of women with plastic surgery. As far as I could tell, almost all the women I’d met who had changed their bodies through surgery had either done it to bandage some adolescent body issue or to make themselves more attractive to men. I didn’t like that—it didn’t seem like a celebration of beauty, but a scrambling attempt to fix something. What I wanted was to be with a woman who worshiped herself as much as I worshiped her. I mean, come on, this is the female form here, the most beautiful thing on earth. To me, surgery somehow implied a lack of confidence. It was as if something purchased to say, "Hey, check me out," actually said, "I don’t like myself very much." I knew that in some ways, this was a ridiculous generalization. Women get surgery for all kinds of reasons. Who was I to decide that every person with a chiseled nose also came with psychological baggage? But I couldn’t help it; that’s how I felt.
When I explained this theory to Callie, she said she understood. In fact, she told me, she’d decided to get her implants removed. Great, I thought. Callie would get back her real body, and I would get a girlfriend with natural breasts. But part of her transformation, apparently, included cutting me out of her life. I’ll never know exactly why she disappeared without a word after her surgery, but I have a feeling she wanted to rethink her relationships with men—what they wanted from her, and what she was willing to do for them. I have to admit, I understand. And looking back now, I can appreciate what she taught me: that choosing to have surgery doesn’t make you a dishonest person.

Understanding what I really needed

After that, determined to change my dating luck, I tried looking for women outside of my Hollywood circle—at the gym, at the grocery story, even at the library. That’s where I met Kara. Kara was a novelist from New York who looked lean and fit and, best of all, completely real, in jeans and a T-shirt. When I thought about getting my hands on her au naturel parts, my mind reeled. During our second make-out session, she stopped me as my hands slipped under her shirt. "Don’t get too excited," she joked. "They’re awful." Were they? Well, one was noticeably larger than the other, and they didn’t look like breasts I was used to seeing on lingerie billboards, but I loved that they were…hers. Kara turned out to be one of the great loves of my life. We dated long distance until the lack of regular contact drove us apart. Sometimes I think I’m still not over her.

In fact Kara (and her gorgeously imperfect body) helped me figure out that dating women who’d been under the knife would probably never feel right to me. There are a thousand enhanced goddesses out there who will one day make other men very happy. I know those women are worth dating, and I’ve fallen in love with a handful of them myself. But I’m pretty sure that the woman for me will deal with her physical peccadilloes with humor and self-acceptance, not surgery.

This is the part I think women don’t understand. When a guy falls in love, his lover’s body parts become bewitching. I’m not going to tell you that our heads don’t turn when we see a stacked blond walking down the street. But when we fall for you—really, really fall for you—you hijack our sense of beautiful. What’s sexy to us? You—in the "before" picture.

hope this has changed yours if you were considering it in the first place...

The Cute Little Mascots

hey all

i hate the haze its starting to get ot me. i just feel very cranky now. awyz i stumbled upon the cute lil mascots of the beijing olympics and thought i should share it with you all. I know some of you already know about them and if u do then just skip this post. hehe x)

In China's traditional culture and art, the fish and water designs are symbols of prosperity and harvest. And so Beibei carries the blessing of prosperity. A fish is also a symbol of surplus in Chinese culture, another measure of a good year and a good life.
The ornamental lines of the water-wave designs are taken from well-known Chinese paintings of the past. Among the Five Friendlies, Beibei is known to be gentle and pure. Strong in water sports, she reflects the blue Olympic ring.

Jingjing makes children smile, and that's why he brings the blessing of happiness wherever he goes. You can see his joy in the charming naivety of his dancing pose and the lovely wave of his black and white fur.
As a national treasure and a protected species, pandas are adored by people everywhere. The lotus designs in Jingjing's headdress, which are inspired by the porcelain paintings of the Song Dynasty (A.D.960-1234), symbolize the lush forest and the harmonious relationship between man and nature. Jingjing was chosen to represent our desire to protect nature's gifts--and to preserve the beauty of nature for all generations.
Jingjing is charmingly naïve and optimistic. He is an athlete noted for strength who represents the black Olympic ring.

In the intimate circle of Friendlies, Huanhuan is the big brother. He is a child of fire, symbolizing the Olympic Flame and the passion of sport--and passion is the blessing he bestows.
Huanhuan stands in the center of Friendlies as the core embodiment of the Olympic spirit. And while he inspires all with the passion to run faster, jump higher and be stronger, he is also open and inviting. Wherever the light of Huanhuan shines, the inviting warmth of Beijing 2008--and the wishful blessings of the Chinese people--can be felt. The firery designs of his head ornament are drawn from the famed Dunhuang murals--with just a touch of China's traditional lucky designs.
Huanhuan is outgoing and enthusiastic. He excels at all the ball games and represents the red Olympic ring.

Like all antelopes, Yingying is fast and agile and can swiftly cover great stretches of land as he races across the earth.
A symbol of the vastness of China's landscape, the antelope carries the blessing of health, the strength of body that comes from harmony with nature. Yingying's flying pose captures the essence of a species unique to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau, one of the first animals put under protection in China. The selection of the Tibetan Antelope reflects Beijing commitment to a Green Olympics. His head ornament incorporates several decorative styles from the Qinghai-Tibet and Sinkiang cultures and the ethnic design traditions of Western China.
Strong in track and field events, Yingying is a quick-witted and agile boy who represents the yellow Olympic ring.

Every spring and summer, the children of Beijing have flown beautiful kites on the currents of wind that blow through the capital.
Among the kite designs, the golden-winged swallow is traditionally one of the most popular. Nini's figure is drawn from this grand tradition of flying designs. Her golden wings symbolize the infinite sky and spread good-luck as a blessing wherever she flies. Swallow is also pronounced "yan" in Chinese, and Yanjing is what Beijing was called as an ancient capital city.
Among the Friendlies, Nini is as innocent and joyful as a swallow. She is strong in gymnastics and represents the green Olympic ring.

When you put their names together -- Bei Jing Huan Ying Ni -- they say "Welcome to Beijing," offering a warm invitation that reflects the mission of Fuwa as young ambassadors for the Olympic Games.

Fuwa also embody both the landscape and the dreams and aspirations of people from every part of the vast country of China. In their origins and their headpieces, you can see the five elements of nature -- the sea, forest, fire, earth and sky -- all stylistically rendered in ways that represent the deep traditional influences of Chinese folk art and ornamentation.

There you have it the cute little mascots for the beijing olympics ;) aren't they cute? well i think they are... awyz why is bb7 always down? Taylor's should do something about it hehe thats all for now ... bye all

Taggy

hey all

just read nick's blog and realised that i've been tagged x) so here goes

What is your relationship with him?
We're classmates, and lunch buddies!

2. Your 5 impressions towards him?
his friendly, talkative, funny, lame and nice to hang out with =D

3. The most memorable thing he has done for you?
just being there for me x)

4. The most memorable thing he has ever said to you?
Why are you so anti-social ? haha that was the first thing he ever said to me

5. If he became your lover, you will...?
Will stone?...

6. If he became your enemy, you will...?
resume my role as the EMO QUEEN . All hail me the emo queen , queen of emo land. emo we stand unemo we fall x) lolz..

7. If he were to become your lover, he will have to improve on...?
well isn't love about accepting someone for who they are and accepting their flaws regardless of what they are?

8. If he became your enemy, what would the reason most likely be?
he did something really stupid

9. The most desirable thing to do for him would be?
to plan his birthday for him x) i owe him one

10. What is your overall impression of him?
Amazing

11. How do you think the people around you feel about you?
I have no idea you'll have to ask them but i hope nothing bad :)

12. The character you see yourself as would be?
I have no clue any suggestions?

13. Which part of your character do you most dislike about yourself?
If i were to dislike something about me i would be a really sad person isn't it ? wouldn't it be better if i just like myself the way i'am?

14. The most ideal person you want to be is?
ummmmmmmmmmm*thinks hard* no clue i'll let u know when i've reached a decision.... :)

15. For the people who care about you and like you, what would you say to them?
To those of care for me,

thank you so much for everything that you've done for me. I'am in debt with you and it will be a debt that i can never repay as you all are like gems that can only be found once in a lifetime after looking and searching for a very very long time. thank you so much for everything.

with love,
natalie.

Ten people to tag:
1. Adeline
2. Gabriel
3. Lai Wah
4. Yee Lian
5. Jade
6. Nicholas Fong
7. Melvin
8. Nicole Ang
9. Huey Ren
10. Ellen Chua

Who is number 2 having a relationship with?
No one at this moment x) he's still in the market hehe...

Is number 3 a male or a female?
She is very much a female.

If number 7 and 10 were together, would it be a good thing?
hmmm i wouldn't know i can't really predict the future x)

How about number 5 and 8?
lols... i don't think it'll work cause no. 5 is with someone else and no.8 does not want any relationships right now :)

What is number 1 studying?
Shes doing SAm wih me but doing different subs sadly...

Is number 4 single?
Nope she is like partially married hehe x)

Say something about number 6.
He has awesome sense of style and a really nice guy. His doing graphics in one acedemy.love his hair and his super tall :)

hehe its fun to do tags x) awyz its the first days of the holidays and i'm starting to get bored. Nyeh .... i need some excitement in my life. I feel like doing my nails maybe i'll do it later. *ponders on what colour to paint it* My sister is off at brats now. Missing her now. Thank goodness she'll be back on tuesday. I feel like shopping but i lack cash x) anyone want to sponsor me ? *does angel face. bye all

It was all a lie

'Look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Did you or did you not do it tell me' i said as i shooked him out of frustration. he just stared blankly at me. there was no response not one word came out from those lips of his. i've given up what more can i say. As i gather my stuff , he looks up at me with tears in his eyes and said ' please don't go . please stay'. i looked at him blankly as he did to me and left that apartment forever.



I walked aimlessly for what seemed like forever as the scenes of the earlier events played in my head and my little voice muttering 'it was all a lie' . i wondered how could it be? why ? how could he do this to me ? Soon little droplets of water fell from the sky. I didn't care even though i was already sick. i just kept on walking just like what i've been doing all this time. I walked and walked feeling lost, empty and confused...

*PLEASE NOTE THAT I WROTE THIS BASED ON A SONG NOT ON ANYTHING ELSE*

hey all...

Its been a long and hot day. Global warming si really starting to take a toll on me. I feel like wearing shorts to college and a sleeveless top but sadly, the new dressing rules of Taylor's prevents me from doing so.... sighs... sadness... Anyways moving away from depressing matters i'm finally getting a one week holiday from taylor's and sam. Yayness x) finally i have time to take the pins out from the bun on my head and just relax for a while to gear up for the next round of battle. However, its not really a holiday cause well my sister is going to be away on camps and to be honest i think i've been going out too much therefore i shall refrain myself from going out during the holidays ok fine maybe for one or two outings x).... i can't be caged up in the house like a bird. After all a bird needs to spread its wings and fly away sometimes. I just finished watching my hk drama series just now on wah lai toi. There was one part of the story that really touched me the most.

There was one part of the show where the hot guy of the show, Alfred wrote a blogpost before he died. He was in love with a girl named sheung joy sum and in that post he stated that everyone has such a happy childhood but sadly mine was different. i had an unhappy one. Oncewhen i was stitting on the stairs all alone crying and wondering why does life hat me so much it suddenly rained. i felt happy. It wasn't just ordinary rain it was colourful little droplets falling from the sky. I jumped around laughing and smiling. It was does little colourful droplets of liquid that became the happiest moment of my childhood. I feel sad whenever i see ah sum cry. i hope that ah sum would be smiling and laughing all the time if she does i know that no matter wherever i go and no matter what i do i will be crying tears of joy and hopefully does tears will fall from the sky as colourful rain droplets like the time when i was young to entertain her and make her happy.

So sweet right ? hehe awyz i'm off to eat some fruits now. My bio teacher said that we are what we eat . She suggested to us to eat more fruits and vegetables cause all vegetarians are very peaceful people. Hence, i shall heed her advice :) oh and she mentioned that people who eat a lot of meat are very aggressive x) sorry but i love my meats ... bye all

-natalie-

2 Days Worth Remembering

hey all

Sorry i know my blog is half dead now been really busy for the pass few days. blame sam i had no intention of making myself tired everyday. So i shall revive it with this post i think i'll be long hehe. Anyways as some of you might know i just celebrated my birth on the 11th well actually it was a two days celebration it started on the 10th and ended on the 11th. I had an amazing time :) special thsnks to does who organized the shogun outing in 1u on sunday and teh swensons outing on the 11th :) since one picture can tell a million words i guess i'll just let the pictures do the talking :) sorry just got home from college berbanyak banyak tired now x)

paul and I we've known each other since kindergarden. miss you polly x)

The dudes that came

My sister's and I being lala.

by the way do you guys see a blow fish? *points at the girl on the right

Oh the food *drools*

Su yee was suppose to be in this picture x)

The whole group

Awyz got no pics of the swensons outing x) sorry guys.... awyz thats all now once again special thanks to the organizers and for all the lovely gifts :) and most importantly thanks to all for making my 18th birthday one to remember. my jaws hurt from all the laughing and smiling i did for those two days x) bye all

-natalie-

Hello all

it was a really long long day yesterday it all began with the Taylor's Charity Carnival. Yes, i have once again participated in one but sadly this time lw was not with me ... i was all alone without my partner in crime oh well... i still had fun but it was rather hard to get people tobuy the drinks. i had to walk around in heels trying to get people to buy the drinks.

Nat: hey wanna buy a drink ? its nice and cold . it'll quench your thrist on such a hot day and beside you look dehydrated x)

random person: what ? you think i'm hot?!?!?!

nat : no i was talking about the weather

yes my friends that did happen. i'm not joking but the person bought the drink in the end hehe x) thank you random person .... awyz here are some pics from the carnival

oh the wedges x)

The Menu

The drinks

Chris bought the bunies for rm100 crazy right ?

Bunny x)

at the end of the day we made rm624 but after minusing the profit around rm450. not bad for last minute planning right ? hehe x) ....well i thinks thats all for now my darling work is calling me x) bye bye

For The Tupai of G11

hey all

The most random thing happened to me today a lil tupai came over to me today and told me that my blog didn't have enough pictures so i decided ithat i have to do soemthing about it so this post of pictures is for none other then my tupai friend , TJ x)

Tupai: dude i need to fart !

i always knew dogs consumed humans x)

=.='

sad case

watch out

Anyways thats all time for me to hop onto the dreamland express x) bye goodnight *YAWNS*

-natalie-

If I Were A Dog

hey all



i was suddenly inspired to blog again by lw's blog when i saw her if i were shoe picture thingy... yes i should be studying but i shall study my butt of after this hehe x)



If i were a dog i would be this dog ...

lolz.. aren't i cute ? i know u just want to hug me and cuddle x) *squels with excitement*

anyways if i were a dog my name would be Lola don't ask me why it just hit me... and i would be in an LA pet shop. i would be sought after by many people and then finally the owner of the pet shop decided to sell me off to this fabulous rich and famous fashionista named *please insert appropriate name*. As for now i'll just call her miss k.

so miss k buys me and carries me around in a nice and comfortable LV dog bag. Yes she thinks i'm too fabulous too walk therefore she carries me. and we set off in to the world together forming a very tight bond. As she owns a fashion company we often jet around a lot to new york, paris and milan. i eat nothing but the finest dog food. * glamourous by fergie starts playing* to her nothing is ever good enough for her lil lola. hehe x) for my first doggy birthday she brought me a diamond encrusted collar. i would probably love being scratched on my belly ... and i would love to play dress up with my owner. and in the summer we'll jet of to the carribeans and she'll get me a bikini and we'll do a lil surfing together. yes i'm a cool and sexy dog living a glamourous life.

Later on in life my owner miss k will find a nice guy to settle down with and guess what her husband will have a dog too i don't know what breed maybe a chow chow x) or something. and then they'll have kids and the kids will love me too hehe x)

ok i wish i could go into more details but i have to go now hehe lunch is calling me and so is work... maybe u guys can go and imagine the rest of the story of my fabulous life as a dog hehe x) ....

-natalie-

August The First

hey all

It was a long, slow and a very very hot week. its getting hotter and hotter each day. we need a giant air conditoner in the sky or something. its so freaking hot. its hotter then me wei x) joking joking please excuse my lameness i think the heat is getting to me.

Anyways welcome to my sakurafied blog x).... the big picture on the header is a view of sakura flowers. its rather random for me to suddenly use sakura flowers, yes? well actually earlier on i was thinking what to put then suddenly i played the sakura drops song by utada hikaru then it hit me why not i just use sakura flowers so i did and i found this nice picture and then i was like all happy inside hehe x) oh the little joys in life...

As for the sidebars i decided to go with a faith, hope and love theme this time. it is always important to have faith. Religion is important to all of us. it teaches us right from wrong, it builds up our character and besides its always nice to know that even if all the world has turn its back against you, your on your knees with tears rolling down our cheeks we always always have someone to turn to. Its reassuring. ;) sometimes once in a while it is good to take chances in life. as always we should always try to reach the moon even if we don't land on it at least we'll land among the stars.

There are many times in life where i have been brought down to my knees, screaming for help and being torned into two pieces like a soldier wounded from a hard and cold battle. hope kept me holding on. it made me believe that tomorrow will be better that the sky is going to get brighter. and i was right for having hopes for a better day cause the days seem much easier after those harsh and cruel times of life. i can remember lw, yl and sy holding my hands and trying to knock me out of my emo state of mind and put me back on my own two feet again. thanks girls ;) and their still there for me thank goodness. Thats why we should always light a candle of hope when times get hard have a little hope that eveyrthings going to turn out alright.

We all got to believe that even in this cruel and harsh world surely there is love. It need not be love between two lovers it could be the simple pure and innocent love of an adult and a child, a puppy and his owner, a love between two siblings and so much more. i have always believe that with love comes compassion and with that people will reach out to other people and help them maybe not like the ways people such as mother theressa and princess diana did but just in whatever way they can. thats why we've got to believe in it ;)

Anyways i got to go, hope you guys like the new pictures and all .

-natalie-