Wrong Place? Wrong Time?

The problem with making a decision is that you'll never know which decision is the right one until it all plays out right until the end of the whole thing which is the final outcome...

Unfortunately right now... I feel like I've made the wrong choice... for some reason I refuse to wait until the end of the whole entire thing... I'm just very sick and tired of it all... I'm just so restless for it to all end cause I have for some reason made up my mind about it already...

People keep on telling me that I'm just at the wrong place at the wrong time... but hey what do I know about this area in life after all i'm not yet an adult...

" trust me ... it will work out" thats what you always say and thats what you only always say...

Your words are merely words.. and thats all their always be to me...

Clueless, Emotionaless and Souless...

Between crossroads there I stood
Wondering which way to go

I took the path of another
Not one of my own

I'm walking now and i'm struggling
Its too dark
My eyes can't see

I don't have a light cause someone took it from me
I don't have hands to guide my way

I'm struggling
I'm falling
Into the unknown

A pit
or the bottom of the ocean

I don't care
as I feel the slippery cold hands of misery
Numb my pain

I used to have my feet on soft clouds
and the sun in my face

Where did it go?
I don't know

I know I'll pull through
I always do...

I'll float again sometime soon
But for now I'm just going to lie here
Clueless, emotionaless and souless...

Sweetdreams Beautiful Nightmare...

Your smile, your kiss, your eyes, your lips
Nothing but a distant memory
Dreams
Together we painted the skies
With the honest love from high above
But what lies

Well, I need to move on and walk away
I wished you'd asked me to stay

Sweetdreams beautiful nightmare
You're nothing but euphoric ecstasy
I'm picking up the pieces of us
As you walk far away
Goodnight my beautiful melody
Our song has runned its course
Should have known you'll dissapoint me
Your just another fairytale gone wrong

You held my hand, you hold me close
Whispered sweet nothings into my ears
Illusions
I lied awake the night you left
Your voice it rings, you told me things that I'll never forget
This pain

Hurts

Well I thought that this would last
And I've never ever have to walk away

Sweetdreams beautiful nightmare
Our love story is now over
I'm struggling to stay a float
But not anymore
Goodnight my lovely romeo
Your Juliet has gone away
She's writting it in the sand
So that it'll fade away

I cannot say I don't love you
I cannot say I hate you
I cannot get rid of your memory
I wished we can rewrite this story
But then again I know you don't want too
So you're gone and so am'i

Yes, it hurts right now
It isn't even half of what I feel
But I've already let it go

Sweetdreams beautiful nightmare
You're nothing but euphoric ecstasy
I'm glad that your gone
From underneath my skin
Goodnight my beautiful melody
That's all I can say to you
All the pain you've caused me
Has finally dissappeared...

A New Buddy

The University of Hong Kong practices the Buddy System ... which is a system where the first year international student undergraduates are paired up with one of their senior students in the same programme... and that buddy will fetch you from the airport personally and be your friend/ translator throughout your entire first year...

So today i checked my email and my buddy emailed me :P hehe... she lives here in Malaysia too the only difference is that she is doing BBA ... oh well... hehe she sounds nice... i don't know what to reply in that email... haha sorry but this email really excites me cause it just amplifies the fact that this is becoming so real... other than the fact that my mum cries over ice cubes... yes she's emo... now you know why i'm emo too :)...

but either way i have a feeling i'm going to meet her this sunday at the HKU students meeting... where i'll meet all the other HKU students, their alumni and my professors... i'm nervous .. what should i wear ... maybe i'll where a dress... or should i go with my usual slacks... need advice people... lol...

oh i went to sy's farewell at mcd yesterday ... it was fun but sad at the same time... i realised that sy is older than paul not in terms of age but in the sense that i know her longer than paul...

we met in mandarin class when we were like 4 or 5 ... we went to the same tadika which was tadika diana, we went to the same primary school which was SK TTDI (1) and then we went to the same high school SMKBUD(4) and then we went to the same college which was Taylor's college and now we're both going to different uni's on different continents... its just sad... but thank goodness for the inventions of modern tech...

love you girl ..

Memo To All

Today was suppose to be the happiest day in my life ... but i got an unexpected call which brought news of despair, sorrow and anger... the call cut me very very deep till i could not feel the pain all over my body due to the fact that i have been in pain for the past few days... my jaw, neck, arm and ankle hurt... no i'm not lying they have been hurting...

to be honest i felt insulted by the call... and now i can never ever be nice to the person who called me... there is no way i can ever find a way or reason to forgive this person... and as far as i'm concern that person is dead in my book... well if you want to know i'll never tell you but you can ask that person in sydney he would know...

not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

I'm single (Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single (Right now)
That's how I wanna be

Ah yeah
Uh Huh
that's right
Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying
I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way
Eh I like it this way

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

You get my drift?

Girly Financial Woes

' So much time , so many things to buy but so little money '

Lately I have an itch to go shopping. i don't know why but my hands are itchy.... really really itchy... it became worst today when i bought my cleo magazine and saw all the ads and new collections of some of my favourite brands...

and you know the sad part i got my allowance today and then i realize i can't use it because i need to get a new handphone.... so its kind of sad... and not only that i have to think about all the things i have to buy so that i can survive in hong kong which mostly revolves around winter clothing because its going to be autumn going to be winter once i reach there...

hehe i feel excited... i can imagine myself with my green scarf and black boots walking the streets of hong kong heading to the Agnes B flagship store ... with the wind blowing and scarf dancing in the wind... and me being loaded with cash... oh how i wish that would happen... oh well if only such dreams can come true...

oh i realise something when i go to hong kong i might have to learn how to text in cantonese .. so... does anyone know how to do that ? i need lessons... help?

Please Don't Stop The Rain - James Morrison

And if it's going to be a rainy day
There's nothing we can do to make it change
We can pray for sunny weather
But that won't stop the rain

You're feeling like you've got no place to run
I can be your shelter til it's done
We can make this last forever
So please don't stop the rain
Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall
Please don't stop the rain
Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall
Please don't stop the rain

Hello

its been pretty emo lately for me... I can't speak mandarin and the issue has always been bitting me in the ass... especially now at work where most of my collogues speak in mandarin or cantonese .. Its like everywhere i go people would talk to me in mandaring and the thing is i understand what their saying but I would always reply them in english...

I'm trying to learn from my mum. She's been teaching me a few words now and then ... lets hope the rain will stop soon :).. oh well...

At least I have something to look forward to tomorrow.. hehe I'll be of to curve tomorrow for the bazaar and the cheer competition organized by CHARM ... I hope I have fun.. Got to go now...

-natalie-

I'm Not So Sore...

I'm alright
I'm ok
I'm a little better...
Eventhough i miss you
And your two oceans away
i'll be smiling knowing that your alright :)
and taking a full advantage of your new experience

I Dread...

Truth be told...

I dread the nights after which you've gone to bed

with your eyes close and your ears deaf

because that is when i feel the most lonely

but i rejoice in the fact that the moon is out

and the sun is no more because

it means that i am one day less from seeing you again

in the month of November...

I Have Come To Realise...

i have come to realise that i hate to see planes take off

i have come to realise that i wish Sydney was a lot more closer to home like how Singapore is close to Malaysia

i have come to realise that i haven't blogged about the Bafta's yet maybe I'll just go straight to the academy awards...

i have come to realise that the journey from kota damansara to KLIA is very very short...

i have come to realise that i can't listen to any love song without crying for now

i have come to realise that i can't go anywhere without remembering the good old times

i have come to realise that time would pass by very very fast hopefully

i have come to realise that I'm depressed

i have come to realise that i need to find something to distract myself like a job or something

i have come to realise that i just can't stop....

but overall i have come to realise that this is not the end but only the beginning...


as the days grow longer and as the season changes.. come what may I will still love you...

Should I Give Up or Should I Keep Chasing Pavements?

there was a time when i was little
where you kept me safe in your bubble
with your watchful eye
you watched me grow into a butterfly
those days have passsed
as i have aged

i've learn to walk, fall and get back up
i also never had the best of hands
but i tried to play my cards right
i rolled the dice and payed my dues
and learned a thing or two

so don't you think its about time you let go?
why won't you ?
so should i give up asking you?
or should i just keep chasing pavements?

Blessing Or Curse?

hello

there are some people in life who get over things very easily because they choose to move on and not get held back . They just don't want to dwell in the past. But the thing is some people misunderstand them in very bad way . They would say things behind their back and everything and then when they see that person the halo's come out. Its hard to act like everything's alright with them when that person knows whats going to happen when that person's not around them. But what can they do when they have the ability to not dwell in the past for not long... is it another blessing and a curse just like love?

Just Another Side

hello

Lately its become a little hard for me to be suprised
When everythings been going on as if its all been written down
Its hard to think otherwise...

-natalie-